(I wrote the following in honor of my daughter last year some time and found it on my abandoned tumblr page. I decided to share with you so we can honor our beautiful babies together, while they ARE our babies!)
You blanket my cheeks with innocent kisses, as you wrap your arms around my neck and you say “I love you, Mama”. I kiss your forehead, hold you tight and say how much I love you more and that you truly are the sweetest girl I know. Its true. You are so sweet, so much so that I worry for you. I see myself in you, remnants of what I used to be. And now that I have the honor of being your mother, one of the most uncomfortable truths I must face is that I have to prepare you, as much as I can, for heartbreak and disappointment. I have the painstaking task of helping you to build your character as well as your resiliency; preparing you for what can be an angry, opportunistic world, and how I wish it wasn’t necessary. But here’s why it is:
I started writing this post immediately after the Zimmerman verdict. I decided to step away from it in order to cool my emotions and write logically and analytically. Bill O’Reilly fucked that up. Don Lemon fucked that up. The Supreme Court and the disintegration of VRA fucked that up. Moral Mondays in NC fucked that up. However, I’ve come back to the post with my head clear (as can be). Let’s read on:
George Zimmerman will not be held responsible for his actions. While Black folk shouldn’t be surprised, surely we tried to retain a bit of hope that the times would reflect change in this country and justice, whatever that looks like, would be served. Not so.
I'm the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible...